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Nelson and His Navy - Sailors Prayer

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This tongue in cheek prayer to the god of the sea, Neptune was found recently in an old book and is certainly worth a reprint.

O, MIGHTY NEPTUNE! Hear an honest British Tar -- thou knowest I trouble not thy Godship every day, I therefore pray thee to grant my prayer, for I love not long palavering and that there, d'ye see.

Grant me a stout ship, and honest Messmates -- as the last of my old ones was popped off Bellerophon's bows at the Nile -- poor Mat Mizen!! Give me plenty of Grog, and a good Commander, and I warrant you I'll shave the Don's whiskers, and as to MOUNSEER, if I comes athwart his hawser again, I'll shiver his jib, and dowse his three-coloured rag, and revenge the death of Mat Mizen, d-------n me -- I beg your honour's pardon for swearing, but it's a way I have -- however I still say, if I get in Mounseer's wake, I'll back his top-sails, split my Timbers.

Worthy Master Neptune! send us a good prize, I do beseech thee, and not be sparing in brandy and Tobacco -- give us also a few chests of the Don's Dollars for Mounseer ha'nt got none, no more than there is in your honour's three-pronged boat hook. When we arrive at Port, send us handsome Doxies, and keep us from a lee shore, that thou knowest I do hate as I hate an empty can, or a dry quid. Grant me these and capsize my trunnions if I don't ever praise thee, and the Messmate that wont join me, may he be stuck upon the lee-arm of a stormy night! Lastly, I pray thee to keep me from the disgrace of the Bilboes -- save me from a Guinea-man and a Tender, and I'll serve cheerfully, and sing King George and his Navy for ever. -- Huzza! to the end of the Chapter.